It was the kind of behavior that made us angry, and embarrassed Christians.
On our return flight from Seattle, where we spent ten heavenly days visiting our twenty-something cherubs, my husband had an encounter with the woman occupying an exit-row seat next to him. She had the middle seat, while her husband languished at the window. My husband relished extending his six-foot, one-inch frame in the aisle seat. I, however, was enjoying life in first class, where my selfless spouse had deposited me after cashing in one of his bucket full of available upgrades.
As the other passengers boarded the plane, the woman’s controlling personality immediately emerged.
During boarding, a flight attendant made an announcement that the plane had the new, roomier overhead luggage compartments. Fliers were instructed to put their luggage in them wheels first and then turn the bags sideways, so they rested on their sides. That allowed for more bags to be placed in each compartment—side-by-side.
There were two problems: The announcement was made only once, so not all of the passengers heard him; and I think most of the boarding fliers were so pre-occupied with finding their seats that they only half-heard, or half-understood the instructions.
But never fear! My husband’s eagle-eyed row mate appointed herself the luggage compartment-inserter inspector and corrected every passenger’s improper loading technique within her crosshairs. After a half-dozen such instructions, my husband said, “It’s okay. I think it’ll get worked out.” To which she vehemently disagreed. He repeated himself more firmly and told her the flight attendant would make sure it would be done correctly. After all, that is one of their jobs. She quieted down but was not pleased.
She went back to her big Bible, which she had pulled out and opened up to read as soon as she sat down. Her husband was busy reading his Bible too. Chris couldn’t tell if he was oblivious to her behavior or trying to ignore it.
Then, during the special instruction time all exit-row occupants must receive per FAA regulations—where the attendant asks each of you whether or not you would be able to assist in the event the doors need to be opened and are willing to help others exit the plane, this woman brushed off the flight attendant trying to get her attention with a dismissive hand wave, so she could stay focused on her Bible.
To get this Bible-reading woman’s attention, the attendant had to lean across my husband and get in the woman’s face and sternly say, “No, you’re going to stop what you’re doing right now and pay attention to me and give me a response, or I’m going to have you move to another seat.”
The woman harrumphed in irritation but complied.
Then, not long after takeoff, she reached up and turned off my husband’s air conditioning vent. After several seconds of stunned silence, he said, “That’s my air vent.”
The woman practically sneered at him, as she replied, “No, it’s not.”
“Oh, yes, yes, it is. You see,” my husband pointed to each vent as he said, “this one is mine and you have one and your husband has one. You can control yours.” He reached back up and swiveled the air nozzle to open.
This woman’s domineering behavior would not be suppressed. She reached up and shut of my husband’s vent again. My husband has a fuse a mile long, but he’d had enough. He leaned over and said in his most authoritative tone: “If you do that again, I’m going to call the flight attendant.”
Clearly unaccustomed to people standing up for themselves, she leaned back and responded with an elongated, exaggerated “Welll!”
But the air vent stayed on, and Chris rode home in comfort, with no additional problems from the Bible-reading row mate.
Until just prior to landing in Phoenix, when the Bible reader patted my husband’s arm and said, “You just don’t understand how we choose to live.”
My husband grinned. “Oh, you’d be surprised.”
Her mouth flew open.
Unfortunately, this isn’t the first sorry interaction we’ve had with self-righteous Bible readers. We have plenty of stories just like it on our bad behavior examples list. That kind of behavior—and worse—drove our two boys away from gathering together in weekly worship at a congregation, and still keeps them away. They could no longer stand the hypocrisy within the church doors. I don’t know if they’ll ever go back.
It angers me.
Now, this woman might not have been a Christian. She might have been a Jehovah’s Witness. They’re notorious for carrying their Bibles with them wherever they go, making them visible, and spending every available moment reading them together. They don’t usually have much friendly interaction with those around them, either, unless they have to.
Or they might have been Mormon, but the Mormons are usually the friendliest, most polite apples in the barrel, so I’m going to guess they weren’t Joseph Smith devotees.
I’m going to sigh, and guess that they count themselves as true believers and the woman as someone who needs to control everyone else to feel in control. I can only imagine how she’s kept her husband and kids in line.
It’s a lesson to all of us to follow Paul’s admonitions to:
- Err on the side of love;
- Consider others as more important than yourself;
- Be slow to speak, slow to anger; and, as Jesus said,
- Be as sly as a serpent but as harmless as a dove.
Of course, I could fill pages with other Biblical instructions that say pretty much the same thing: Remember the One you represent, be filled with the Spirit (love, joy, patience, peace, long-suffering, etc.), and do not grieve the Holy Spirit by your words or actions.
Certainly, we can’t all be patient and perfect at all times, but it’s a lesson to all of us Christ-followers that others are watching, and so is the Lord.
Be careful that you don’t do anything that might bring shame upon Him, or drive others away from Him.
But there are other things about this that niggle at me:
Why does it always seem to be the women that are the most controlling? Where did we learn such behavior, who taught it to us, and why do we feel a need to be that way?
Thoughts to consider and make a personal evaluation on.
Hope you’re enjoying your summer! We’re breathlessly awaiting the monsoon rains here in the Southwest. The clouds are building, so we should be enjoying heat relief soon!
Until next week,
Andrea
“Certainly there was an Eden….We all long for it, and we are constantly glimpsing it.” —J.R.R. Tolkien
Andrea Arthur Owan is an award-winning inspirational writer, fitness pro and chaplain. She writes and works to help people live their best lives—physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
