Good Friday Meditation: Why Would God Abandon His Son?

Abandon is a hard word and an even rougher experience. Feeling abandoned tears open your heart, stuns your soul and leaves you feeling eviscerated. So when Jesus cries out from the cross:

 

“My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?”

 

it’s difficult to get your mind wrapped around.

How could the God incarnate—fully God and fully man—feel abandoned from the God eternal? How could God do that to His son? It seems too hard too believe, that God would be that…well, I hesitate to type it…cruel.

 

There are numerous resources that talk a lot about why that had to happen, why God had to remove His spirit from Jesus in order to fully experience all the ugliness and sin of the world. How Jesus was the Lamb of God, the one, and only one, who could satisfy that atoning sacrifice—to pay the ultimate debt—so those who believed in Him could enjoy eternity with Him in Heaven.

But I’m going to throw out another reason. Mind you, it’s not theological; it’s just a suspicion I have. One that comes from being a parent and imagining one of my sons being tacked up naked on a rough Roman cross for all those bewildered, curious, scornful eyes to ogle.

 

I think God had to remove His spirit far away from Jesus, and turn His broken heart and eyes away.

 

Can you imagine watching your son suffer like that, for no good reason, to pay the price for other peoples’ sins without intervening and trying to get him down off that cross? Without putting your own life on the line; or offering yourself as sacrifice instead?

I’m sure his mother, Mary, would have done it if she had the capability and power. After all, she was one of the few followers that showed up that day and wept at the foot of the cross, along with several other women who wept alongside her and for her. I believe she would have done anything to rescue her beloved son from such torment.

But God the Father could have done something during those six hellacious hours, and didn’t. And I suspect He had to turn his face away from His son’s suffering because He couldn’t stand to watch.

He had to temporarily abandon, or forsake, His son so the sacrifice could happen and the atonement be fulfilled.

 

But then I think He had enough.

 

Historical accounts indicate that most crucified people hung on their crosses several days before dying, withering in the sun, slowly suffocating. In horrific physical pain. But Jesus lasted exactly six hours and then willingly gave up His spirit into His Father’s hands.

Was it the moment God’s spirit returned to Him that He knew the price was paid and the torture was over?

How much relief the Father must have enjoyed the moment He re-joined with His Son. How much relief Jesus must have experienced.

All of it orchestrated, planned and perfectly timed for our benefit.

 

On this Black Friday that we also refer to as “Good,” I’ll be thinking about not only Jesus’ but the Father’s anguish.

Contemplating their mutual, unfathomable sacrifices.

 

Come Sunday morning, I pray your heart is once again drenched in the Father and Son’s joy!

Andrea

Notre Dame: A Sign of Hope in the Midst of Grief

An uplifting Palm Sunday turned to a heartbreaking Monday.

For any Christ-follower—Catholic or Protestant—watching the grand dame of them all perish in flames was surreal and devastating. As one eyewitness said, “I feel as though my guts were ripped out.”

Exactly. Gut wrenching.

Even for Parisians, who are largely a secular citizenry, the site was more than they could fathom. Some referred to its history, its French historical significance, the artwork it contained, the architecture, and its significance in French literature. Notre Dame is part of their national identity.

Then there was the impromptu group that formed and sang Ave Maria as they watched it burned, a reminder that there is always a reason to hope and pray in the midst of pain and sorrow.

I couldn’t contain tears when the picture popped up on my computer screen. My husband and I were speechless as we watched the scene on our television. We couldn’t get our minds wrapped around it.

If you’ve never seen the cathedral in person, toured the interior, tried to absorb the artwork, carvings and glory, or witnessed the magical, ethereal, soul-grabbing sound of the organ or cantor as the notes lift and rise to the arches, you might not have been fully capable of grasping the horror and profound sadness some of us experienced.

I felt deeply, deeply grateful for having those experiences just six months ago after finishing our Camino de Santiago walk.

And I felt deeply sorrowful for those who looked forward to seeing it and will likely never have the opportunity. Like my younger son.

And I was also reminded that this building was a mere symbol of something greater. That we are connected to God through His Holy Spirit, not buildings and icons and reliquaries; and we worship in spirit and in truth.

But that’s hard to do. It’s often easier to worship when there’s something tangible, to see, to touch.

And I wondered if what we experienced might be a little like what the Jews experienced as they watched their beloved temple—the site of their communing with God, their identity—being destroyed.

Their shock and anguish must have been unimaginable.

 

Yet, this week is also a reminder that we no longer need the temple because Jesus paid the ultimate sacrifice over 2,000 years ago so that separating curtain could be split and God could take up residence in our hearts.

How wonderful it is that Passover begins this week, a time for Jews and Christians to remember what God has done in their lives. How he has preserved and blessed us.

 

I had some profound words to write for this week’s Meditation Monday post, but a weekend full of tax computation robbed me of my time and energy. And then yesterday threatened to rob a piece of my heart.

Last night, though, I went to bed with the image of Notre Dame’s gold altar cross radiating brightly amidst the ruins, right behind the marble pieta of Jesus draped across Mary’s lap.

A gorgeous reminder that, in spite of grief, He still makes hope available.

And that’s what this week is about—a promise fulfilled, eternity bought, and hope offered.

Amen.

Andrea

“Certainly there was an Eden….We all long for it, and we are constantly glimpsing it.” —J.R.R. Tolkien

There will be no Workout Wednesday blog, but rejoin me for Good Friday for a few Holy Week-centered words.

Arthroscopy and a Miracle

A funny thing happened on the way to my knee surgery. Something wonderful and rather miraculous.

But I still don’t know when it happened.

Let me explain.

 

A little history—

As a competitive gymnast, I put my knees—and body—through the contortion and compression ringer. Way back in high school I was slapped in a thigh-high to ankle leg immobilizer because of excruciating knee pain and unceremoniously diagnosed with “chondromalacia,” a condition that develops when the smooth, lubricating underneath surfaces of the kneecap get damaged or wear down from…well…wear and tear. At fifteen, I was already experiencing severe wear and tear.

The pain kept me from sleeping. I couldn’t find a comfortable position for it. Keep it bent too long, and I’d have to straighten it out to get it to calm down, at least a little. I needed to sit on the aisles for theater and movie attending because keeping it bent, with the kneecap surface grinding into my femur, was intolerable. Changes in air pressure exacerbated the pain, as did lying out in the sun too long. Adding any excess poundage to my medium frame also worsened the problem.

The condition was still giving me fits in college, and my team physician prescribed 7 aspirin 3 to 4 times a day. It certainly reduced the inflammation, but I was too exhausted from anemia to stay awake or experience discomfort. That was a rough college semester.

 

Athletic Training to the rescue—

Once I completed my athletic training degrees (B.S. and M.S.), I understood what my “mechanism of injury” (cause) was and how to deal with it and became a specialist in the biomechanics of the lower extremity and learned how to treat my own knees as well as my patients’. I developed a knee treatment and exercise protocol to keep my legs strong and avoid further injury.

But I couldn’t reverse the damage done. And while hiking the sometimes-brutal landscape of the Camino de Santiago last fall, my kneecaps (and femur) once again fell victim to the ravages of bone-to-bone grinding. I ended up hobbling (yes, HOBBLING!), into Logrono, our last town on our first journey.

 

Seeing a doctor—

After our return from the Camino, I made an appointment to see a local orthopedic doctor that specializes in regenerative medicine of the joints. Maybe he could help me?

After examining my x-rays, and pointing out the frayed surfaces of my kneecaps, he said he could probably help me regenerate some of that surface cartilage through stem cell injections. Cells extracted from my own tummy fat. (How wonderful that they’ve found something useful for it!)

Because the cost is exorbitant, and insurance companies won’t pay for it, I’d need to save to have the procedure, which I hoped to do last month, after I’d made enough recovery from my November toe bone spur-removal surgery.

But something happened during the rehabilitation from that bone spur. Either I put too much pressure on the right leg, and damaged my meniscus; or an already-damaged meniscus was further eroded during my rehab. One Friday back in January, I saw my stem cell doctor again, told him my right knee felt as though it was hanging by a thread, and wondered what he suggested. He said he wanted to get a look inside the knee to see what was going on. That meant an MRI, which he ordered. (That’s what I hoped he would do.)

 

But the following Monday afternoon changed all my plans.

On the way out my front door to get into the car and drive to Phoenix for a three-day Crisis Management seminar, I finished off what I’d started.

It didn’t take much. It often doesn’t, especially when you get to a “certain age.” I stepped backward off the landing, planted my right foot, turned the key in the lock and pivoted on my planted foot.

Bad move. And a ripping sound toward the back of my knee confirmed it.

After crawling back into the house, (wailing in pain and frustration to my two attentive and sympathetic dogs), icing, and awaiting my husband’s return so he could take me to the after-hours clinic, I got my MRI moved to “stat,” and slid through the magnetic tube that Friday. The following Tuesday I was back in my doctor’s office.

“Good news,” he started, “is that you don’t have arthritis in the knee joint.” I was thrilled, especially after a grizzled Physician’s Assistant with no bedside manner assured me in the after-hours clinic that I had arthritis and my meniscus had to be “mush” due to my age. It meant no knee replacement necessary, for the time being, at least. Then he continued. “But you do have a meniscus tear. They’d normally just let it go, but you have a flap on yours. They’ll need to cut that out, so the knee won’t lock up on you during activity.”

Since he doesn’t do surgery, he recommended another doctor, a believer in stem cell therapy. My doctor hunted him down and brought him back to the room. (Impressive service!) The surgeon told me it was an odd tear (of course; I don’t do anything “normally”) and there wasn’t much to be done but snip that flap off. “And clean up anything else I find in there.”

I knew what that meant: clean up any of the chondromalacia debris. I wasn’t in hurry. Wanting to build some strength in my legs before undergoing the knife, I scheduled surgery for six weeks later.

 

The surgery—

That morning, Chris said he’d never seen anyone more ready and excited to have knee surgery in their life. True. I was excited to find out what was going on there, myself. I sort of felt as though I had this morbid desire to use myself as a guinea pig. I chatted up a storm with everyone. Even the anesthesiologist and I got into a discussion about walking the Camino de Santiago. Fifteen minutes later the procedure was over. They’d blocked out an hour.

Chris had just settled himself into doing work on his computer in the waiting room when my surgeon bounced down the hall toward him, a jubilant smile spread across his face. “Come in here,” he said, as he waved Chris toward a private consultation room.

The surgeon tossed the glossy pictures of my internal knee anatomy toward Chris. “Look at this!” he gushed. “I’ve been doing this a long time, and I’ve never seen anything like it.”

Chris pretended to know what he was looking at as the surgeon pointed out the structures. “See her ACL (anterior cruciate ligament)? That glossy area indicates it was damaged, and then healed. That’s remarkable. And see the color of the ligament itself? It’s shape?” Chris nodded as he stared at the picture. “That’s what a ligament of a twenty-year-old athlete looks like!”

Chris’s gaped at the surgeon, who continued. “And, aside from the tear, her meniscus are also in near-perfect condition—healthy, good density. All I had to do was snip off that flap. And see the fibers branching out from the tear edges? It’s healing itself!”

Chris threw out a couple of “Wow” comments as the doctor continued. “And see the smooth cartilage on the bones? She has NO arthritis. Absolutely amazing!”

Then the doctor flipped to the second sheet of pictures. “Now there’s the war zone!” He pointed to the pitted kneecap surface, with the fragments of sheared and scraped-off cartilage hanging off the kneecap and floating in the joint fluid. “Typical gymnast knee. Lots of brutal shear force. I just cleaned off the mess. The good news is that she actually has about 1/3 of the surface cartilage left for stem cells to bond to. She’s a prime candidate for the treatment!

“I don’t know what you guys are doing, eating or exercising or good living. But whatever it is, keep doing it!”

 

Recovery—

Chris couldn’t wait to share the good news. I was thrilled. At my post-op appointment, the surgeon confirmed what he told Chris and said he didn’t think I’d ever need a need replacement.

I lay on the couch post-surgery and bragged to anyone who called to check on me that I had the knees of a 20-year-old. But it didn’t take me long to think a little deeper about what had transpired.

I’d turned 61 just four days prior to surgery. Twenty years old was four long decades ago. Even if I took into account:

  • my pension to eat well and consume a lot of anti-inflammatory foods;
  • my liberal use of anti-inflammatory meds during my twenties;
  • the likelihood that I’m blessed with good genes, (my mom is 97 ½ and without any skeletal problems);
  • and my athletic escapades and genetic bent toward strong, powerful muscles that hold joints together;

 

I can in no way account for all of those factors subtracting 40 years from the age of my knee.

 

Somewhere along the line, some heaven-sent miracle arrested the aging of my knee; or I received a healing miracle sometime during the last 40 years.

I won’t know this side of heaven what the answer is, but I’m SOOOOO grateful. I probably won’t need my knee sawed out and replaced with a bionic, titanium alloy model. Something that’s so often done these days that it reminds me of assembly-line surgery.

 

Healing process—

So now I’m working on rehabilitating my knee. Recovery is creeping along much more slowly than I predicted, but I’m guessing that’s all in God’s plan too. Another lesson in slowing down, trusting. Practicing peace in the face of incapacity and pain.

Surgery recovery has a way of putting life into perspective. It whittles life down to what’s important and really urgent.

Turns out not much is really urgent, although we elevate a lot of things in our lives to urgent. Sometimes I think we do that to make our lives seem more relevant.

And we get brainwashed into believing that unless our lives seem relevant, then we aren’t relevant.

I’m also amazed once again at how God has created the body to heal itself. Sometimes that’s a slow process that needs cooperation. Otherwise, healing can go haywire. I confess I’m not always a patient person, so the healing process is also a lesson in patience, another product of the Spirit’s fruit.

 

Any way you look at it, it constitutes a miracle.

There’s a lot to be learned from an injury.

Youthful knees or not!

Photo:

By the way, the above picture is not a photo of the moon. It’s the inside of my knee. The damaged part of it. The grayish area is where the surface cartilage has been worn down, “like sandpaper,” the surgeon said. Gymnastics. All of the surface should be pearly white.

Hopefully it will become that way if and when I have those stem cell injections!

I’ll be praying for another miracle!

 

Until next week,

Shalom,

Andrea

“Certainly there was an Eden….We all long for it, and we are constantly glimpsing it.” —J.R.R. Tolkien

Perhaps Today! Actively (and Expectantly) Awaiting Jesus’ Return

I’m a mug junkie. I have mugs overflowing around our house. Mugs in the cupboards. Mugs on a special shelf in our solarium-breakfast room. I even had my husband add another shelf to one of our kitchen cabinets to accommodate all of them. The cabinet right above the coffee maker. The cabinet stuffed with mugs, tea, and coffee-making supplies. It’s gotten to be a family joke.

I don’t remember when I started “collecting” them. I had a few mugs scattered around, special ones I’d picked up at seminars, (with conference logos and company promo material), national park mugs, and mugs from Hawaii with our Anglicized-Hawaiian names on them. But when I gave up collecting vacation-spot T-shirts, I gravitated toward mugs, which are much more difficult to haul home (unbroken) in a suitcase!

Now I have “retired” mugs on display on a special shelf, the ones I don’t want to break or wear down any longer through usage; and the noteworthy cracked ones I can’t bear to part with. And I have several secreted away that no one else is allowed to use but me. The mugs given as extra-special gifts, or the ones that remind me of sweet times Chris and I have spent together at some charming Bed and Breakfast.

But there’s one mug I’ve never used. It’s been prominently displayed on my writing desk for over 25 years. The blue marble-look mug I received after donating to a well-known ministry. The words on it remind me of something I should keep forefront in my mind. Every day. Words especially appropriate for this month when we celebrate the Resurrection of our Lord.

Perhaps Today!

 

Can you guess what those words reference?

They’re a reminder that our Lord will return one day. They’re a hope that perhaps today will be that glorious day—when He’ll return, subdue the earth, vanquish his foes, and lift up and resurrect the faithful.

 

Jesus’ Second Coming—

Of course, not everyone believes He will return. And not everyone harbors the hope within his or her heart that He will. Some are terrified it might be true.

 

I thought about my “Perhaps Today!” mug when reading a chapter from Max Lucado’s book And the Angels Were Silent: The Final Week of Jesus. Reading that book has been my Lenten practice nearly every year the last 23 years.

The particular chapter that brought the mug to mind is titled “Be Ready.” The verse associated with the chapter is Matthew 24:42:

 

“So always be ready, because you don’t know the day your Lord will come.”

 

It’s a winsome (and stark) reminder that being ready for His return is a way of life. A critical one.

Jesus’ Last Sermon on Earth—

In his book, Lucado examines what Jesus says and does (and doesn’t say and do) the last week of His earthly life. It’s a lesson—when time and distractions are stripped away—on what’s important. This particular chapter looks at the topic of Jesus’ last sermon.

What would you think a last-sermon topic would be? Like Lucado, we’d probably preach on love, or family, or church attendance, ministry support. Spreading the Gospel. Doing good and being good. Marching for some social justice issue.

But Jesus focuses on something He evidently believes is far more important.

He focuses on being prepared.

Or, as Lucado bluntly puts it:

 

“He preached on being ready for heaven and staying out of hell.”

 

Hell. Now there’s a word many recoil at. “Does anyone believe in hell anymore?” you might ask.

Jesus is a firm believer in it. If you haven’t tallied up the numbers, He talked about hell and money more than anything else while He was on earth.

But it’s become a passé or quaint subject. An idea reserved for the undereducated or simple-minded. As Lucado points out:

 

“We don’t like to talk about hell, do we? In intellectual circles the topic of hell is regarded as primitive and foolish. It’s not logical. ‘A loving God wouldn’t send people to hell.’ So we dismiss it.

But to dismiss it is to dismiss a core teaching of Jesus. The doctrine of hell is not one developed by Paul, Peter, or John. It is taught by Jesus himself.

And to dismiss it is to dismiss much more. It is to dismiss the presence of a loving God and the privilege of a free choice.”

 

And that’s the point: we all have a free choice. To choose heaven or hell. And God will honor what we choose.

 

Where will you choose to spend eternity?

God talks a lot about what we’ll gain by going to heaven, how we can get there, and what consequences we face if we choose poorly.

And that leaves me with one more point Lucado made. An ironclad argument against this idea that there is a heaven but no opposite place—hell—in existence.

 

“To reject the dualistic outcome of history and say there is no hell leaves gaping holes in any banner of a just God. To say there is not hell is to say God condones the rebellious, unrepentant heart. To say there is no hell is to portray God will eyes blind to the hunger and evil in the world. To say there is no hell is to say that God doesn’t care that people are beaten and massacred, that he doesn’t care that women are raped or families wrecked. To say there is no hell is to say God has no justice, no sense of right and wrong, and eventually to say God has no love. For true love hates evil.

Hell is the ultimate expression of a just Creator.”

 

I’ll add one more thought: If there is no hell, why would Jesus have to endure humiliation, abandonment, torture, and a cruel Roman cross to provide a way for us to enter and enjoy heaven? Was that all just one big wasted event?

Surprisingly, staying out of hell and making the choice for Him and an eternal life in heaven, is the same topic he preached on during His first sermon.

He constantly warned people to be prepared. He focused on the subject the last week of His life, three short days before His death.

 

And I believe it’s a subject we need to return to today. Not by standing on street corners with signs, pointing angry fingers at people and shouting at them through angry, twisted lips and with blazing eyes that they’re headed for doom.

I think it’s something we need to continue talking about in a loving, firm way. With hearts of concern for the rejecters or uncommitted. As I’ve heard pastors say, “If you saw someone in a burning building, wouldn’t you try to do everything you could to save them? Or would you just walk by and say, ‘Oh well?'”

 

I know many think we believers-in-hell are feeble-minded, duped, or downright nuts. But that’s okay with me. I’d rather it weren’t true; I’d like to believe that God just says, “Okay. I’m going to let everyone into heaven, even if they’ve rejected me. Or just annihilate them so they’ll never know what they’re missing. That’s a belief to which many faithful are now subscribing. It just sounds nicer.

But I can’t have it my way. I don’t make the rules. God does. And I don’t think He would have spent so much time warning against it if it were just some big cosmic joke. A “just kidding” discussion.

 

What to do while we’re waiting—

Does looking forward to His second coming mean I do nothing but twiddle my thumbs until it happens? Many people that laugh at us, thinking that’s what we’re do.

But when I think “Perhaps Today!” my looking forward to it in anticipation should drive me closer to preparation, being found busy and active, as Jesus instructs us to be. Doing His work down here, like a faithful ambassador, until He returns.

So, along with the “Perhaps Today” thought, I try to start every day with a Jewish adage I learned some years ago: “Rise up like a lion in the service of the Lord.”

You never know when or at what hour you might be called. You might as well be busy during the waiting and anticipation process.

And then it will be too late.

 

May God grant you a happy, expectant “Perhaps Today!” heart as you prepare for the commemoration of His final week, crucifixion and glorious Resurrection, and live every day of your life until He returns!

 

Until next time,

Shalom!

Andrea

“Certainly there was an Eden….We all long for it, and we are constantly glimpsing it.” —J.R.R. Tolkien

A Birthday Self-Assessment and Vision

Do you ever think about the past, spend time thinking about the sweet memories of yesteryear?

Your birthday is a perfect time to do some self-examination, an assessment of the last year.

But we can fall into that pit of reviewing more of the bad things than the sweet ones—our mistakes, our sins, our really bad moments, and the bad things that were done unto us.

 

A week ago, I did the birthday self-assessment. I looked backward, and I sought God for the forward. And then I had a revelation.

As we age, we seem to spend a lot of time looking backward, at the regrets, the inability to measure up physically to the person we used to be.

Then the Lord in His graciousness revealed something to me that perhaps He’s already revealed to you.

Here are some notes I wrote in my journal—

 

“Lord, in some many ways, I hate growing old, even though I know with each passing day, month and year I get closer to eternity with You. And I suppose that should make me rejoice with each extra candle. Knowing how much joy You must take in knowing your children’s journeys on earth are winding down, until full renewal and the fullness of time results in a restored body and life that won’t flinch or pale at length of days.

“So why do I live and breathe and behave as though this is it? I want to walk toward You, in joy, in peace, in hope, in Longing, thrilled anticipation of that glorious, perfect day. I want to rejoice over moving toward perfection rather than wallowing in and lamenting my failures. I want to move on, with a heart saturated to overflowing with happiness and peace.

“…It is good. It is enough!”

 

The little red journal I’m using right now has Scripture verses at the bottom of each page. I read them after I’ve written that day’s inklings. The verse at the bottom of the first page I wrote on for my birthday was this:

 

“The path of the just is as the shining light, that shineth more and more unto the perfect day” (Proverbs 4:18).

 

A perfect verse for what the Lord had laid on my heart to ponder.

My path is a shining light. Only I can allow it to be darkened by my thoughts, attitude and behavior.

God is the light that shines on that path.

And that shining light will shine brighter and brighter as I move toward the perfect day—the day when the Lord will renew Heaven and Earth, and I will be counted among the happy citizens of His Kingdom. In a body designed to work and live and rejoice forever!

 

With those facts planted in my heart, why would I not enjoy the walk down the path, toward the brighter light? Why would I not look forward to that day when I will be absent from my body and present with the Lord?

Why would I not embrace every added year?

I should embrace every year, even as my body fails and abilities decrease. And that’s my goal this year: to be focusing on that light and have my heart set on eternity.

 

May your paths shine brighter and brighter, and may you be looking forward toward the brighter light, not at the dull one behind you.

 

Meditation Mondays will be going on hiatus until April 1, so I can focus on recovering from my recent knee surgery. I’ll have a way for you to sign up to receive these posts, and in return, I’ll have a freebie for you to enjoy!

See you back here next month!

Blessings,

Andrea

“Certainly there was an Eden….We all long for it, and we are constantly glimpsing it.” —J.R.R. Tolkien