Thanksgiving – Andrea Arthur Owan

How to Cope With Grief During the Holidays—Part 1

The holiday season is fast approaching. I can’t believe we’re already into November, and the close of the year is just a squeak over seven weeks away. I’m not ready for it mentally. But at least I’m looking forward to the potential joy and peace of it. Feelings many, if not most people, don’t enjoy during the holiday season.

While many of us look forward to the holidays with joy, too many look forward to them with dread and heavy hearts. Many of us anticipate fun days full of children and grandchildren laughter and squeals of delight, silent nights and flickering candles shared with church family and friends. Roasted turkey in the middle of a table surrounded by grateful loved ones.

But what about the couple whose cancer-stricken child won’t be seated at the table with them this year, or ever again?

What about the despondent mother whose husband has just walked out the door, and she doesn’t know how she’s going to provide any kind of holiday for her two shell-shocked children?

What about the older widow who will have to spend the day alone because her children live a couple thousand miles away, and no one in her tiny sphere has thought of inviting her to join their family for festivities?

Or the aged man confined to a memory care facility, without family members or friends.

Coping with grief (and thriving) at this time of year—

It seems like a morbid subject to discuss during this otherwise festive (market and product-driven) time of year, but that’s the subject I’ll be covering for this month and most of December—

How to make it through the grief that can overwhelm us at this time of year, and help others around us slog through it too.

Aside from recent pain, holidays can open up old wounds. Melancholy and depression can be overwhelming. Just how can we help ourselves, and those around us, get through this time of year with a modicum—or more—of joy and look forward to a new year full of hope and promise?

Our goal won’t be too forget our pain—the circumstances or the people it swirls around—but to work through it. To use it to our advantage, to gain strength and hope from it.

To resist the forces that would bury our hearts alive.

Preparing our hearts for the holidays—

We’ll formally begin this process next Monday. But until then, I want to give you something that will encourage your heart.

Remember that God is for you, not against you, no matter what others insinuate or what your broken and disillusioned and shocked heart may tell you. Or what the evil one may whisper in your ear.

God stands ready, willing and able to hold you close, carry, or walk you through it.

And for those of you who look forward to the holidays with rejoicing, be on the lookout for people who need comfort and a tender, encouraging word.

And maybe a place at your celebration table.

Until then,

Prepare to dig and go deep, with yourself and others.

Blessings,

Andrea


Andrea Arthur Owan is an award-winning inspirational writer, fitness pro and chaplain. She writes and works to help people live their best lives—physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

13 Tips for a Healthy, Happy (Regret-free) Thanksgiving

Have you ever gotten to the end of Thanksgiving Day or awakened the following day regretting the amount of food you ate, the desserts consumed, and the way you feel post-feast?

Why not turn over a new leaf by deciding now that things will be different this year—that you’ll make better, healthier choices, and be happier and proud of your new lifestyle choices.

That you’ll enjoy conscientious eating!

How to do it—

If you’re ready and excited to give it a try, use some or all of these tips to maximize your success by having a game plan. No game plan usually means failure!

FIRST and FOREMOST, be prayed up before you hit the table! That your eyeballs and tastebuds are not led into temptation!

After you’ve gotten the turkey all dressed and prepped and popped in the oven, grab your sweetie and four-legged family members and go for a walk. Getting outside in the fresh air can help you work up an appetite. It’ll also get the digestive tract going so it’s primed to digest the food better when you do sit down to eat.
If you’re using paper plates, buy smaller ones, rather than the big, oval smorgasbord-type models.
Don’t showcase all of the food on the dining room table so you only have to grab, spoon and plop the food on your plate. Having the food in front of you makes it too easy to mindlessly overeat. Place the food on a table in another room besides the dining room, so you have to get up to serve yourself.
On your first round at plating your food, select salads, veggies and fruit and sit down and eat those. Then return for the meat and potatoes. Or fill up most of your plate with the salads, veggies and fruit and save a tiny space for the meat, potatoes and gravy.
For the dessert, make a decision ahead of time to take small servings for the desserts, or take four to five bites (don’t overload your fork!) and then put your fork down and immediately toss the rest of the dessert so you’re not tempted.
Reduce the number of sweetened drink selections (like sodas, lemonades, etc.) and replace them with homemade, unsweetened lemon, lime, orange or cucumber water. Have orange slices for the kids (or the adults) who like a spurt of sweetness.
Have a spread of nuts, fruits and cheeses out for guests to nibble on before sitting down to the regular meal. A bowl of grapes is always a big hit in our house.
When eating, put your fork down between bites so you maximize your chewing and improve digestion.
Try to spend more time chatting, listening and socializing than eating. Don’t eat and chew simultaneously!
Immediately following the meal, refrigerate the uneaten food that might quickly spoil (to avoid reflexive nibbling), wrap up the other items to keep them fresh, and then go for another post-meal, digestive-enhancing stroll.
For you football or sports fans, avoid over-saturation and too much sitting by deciding you’ll only flop on the couch to watch two games, or five hours maximum during the day. If you’re busy cooking and watching, you might be able to squeeze in more, but don’t park yourself on the couch all day. It’s dangerous for your health!
If you want to try something really off-the-wall, dig out the chopsticks and try eating your meal with them! That’s a recommendation I received from a professional in healthful eating that I interviewed for an article a couple of years ago. Fun, and funny! (You will eat less while stimulating your brain and coordination.)
Instead of watching sports, dig out the board games and stimulate your brain and conversation.

You don’t need to brag about being a glutton to enjoy the day. Think of all of the components that go into it and see how you can apply even small tweaks to leave you feeling healthy and happy, and proud of your self-care!

Let’s hear it for no more guilt!

Time to share—

What does your family do to keep the healthy lifestyle going on the biggest meal ingestion day of the year?

Until next week,

A very blessed and Happy Thanksgiving to you!

Andrea

May you prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers (3 John 2).

Photo by Libby Penner on unsplash

How to Prepare Your Heart to Give Thanks

They came to me through the mail. A surprise present from a precious friend for my BIG birthday this year. I hadn’t put in a request for them. They hadn’t even been on my radar as a possible present.

But they were perfect! And I cried when I opened the box and saw them.

Beads. Beautiful beads handmade into a special loop.

Prayer beads.

I do admit to an initial concern, since I try to avoid anything that resembles rote, repetitive prayer. Unless it’s the “Lord’s prayer” Jesus taught the disciples in the Gospel of Matthew, chapter 6, verses 9-13.

But then I read through the accompanying explanation pamphlet, which offered suggestions on how to use the beads to pray.

The beads actually start with the Cross, which reminds us of Christ’s act of salvation for us.

The next bead up from the cross has been called the Invitatory Bead, which can be used as a call to worship. Reciting the Lord’s Prayer is a suggested prayer to call you to worship God.

Then comes the Resurrection Bead that reminds us that Christ has conquered death. For believers, we rejoice in the Resurrection that gives us eternal life.

Then the 4 Cruciform Beads that form the shape of the cross. The number 4 is a reminder of the four Gospels.

The seven little beads between each cruciform beads are called “Week Beads” (the number 7 representing spiritual perfection) that can also remind us of the 7 days of Creation.

The total number of beads, 33, reminds us of the years Christ lived on earth.

Now back to the cruciform beads—

The first thing that struck me in the instructions was the order the cruciform beads take you through when praying.

And praying that way has had a profound effect on my prayer life.

It’s suggested that the first cruciform bead above the Resurrection Bead be used to acknowledge God. Who He is, how He loves, what He’s done for us.

The next cruciform bead, as you move counter-clockwise around the beads, is where you Confess your sins and ask for forgiveness.

The third cruciform bead is the bead of Thanksgiving.

The final cruciform bead is the Intercessory Bead or where you offer up your prayer requests.

If you want to return to the first cruciform bead, you can once again thank God for Who He is.

Did you notice the order?

I found it a bit unsettling to my heart and brain the first time I stumbled through praying with the beads.

But then the light bulb in my head went on: how focused and right it seemed to pray that way!

To spend the initial time identifying with the cross of my Savior—the beautiful and somber identity marker of love, forgiveness, sacrifice and hope. What started out as unnatural quickly became comfortable.

Then I moved to praying the Lord’s Prayer at the Invitation Bead.

And then on to the Resurrection Bead. And as I prayed this way, something rather miraculous happened.

I slowed down and focused on the Lord—who He is, what He means to me, and what He means to the body of Christ—the “our” and “us” so often repeated in the Lord’s Prayer. A reminder that although this praying is personal it’s also corporate. I am part of a great body of believers stretching back a couple of thousand years. I am not alone in my faith, or in my relationship with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

And then, instead of rushing on to my prayer requests and thank you’s, I had to focus on my faults. Those nasty transgressions that put a rift in my relationship with God, that stifle my spiritual health.

It struck me how those confessions came before the thank you and prayer request beads. And how important it is that I don’t skip this “step” before moving on.

It’s humbling. And freeing. To get it all out in the open, laid out and taken care of. So I can move forward.

Forgiven.

When I did move forward, I felt free and unencumbered to really thank God for all of His marvelous blessings, big and small! After the somber aura surrounding my heart and soul during the confession stage, the aura disappeared to be replaced by unearthly, saturating joy at the thanksgiving bead!

And then my heart was truly ready to put in my requests. After the preceding prayers, the conduit between the Lord and me seemed to be open and flowing. Joyful. Rejoicing.

Supremely blessed and fulfilled.

Residual blessings—

When the praying is over, I’ve found I’m more in tune to the Spirit and His leading throughout the day.

Those beads came with me on the Camino, carried in my backpack’s hip pocket and into every church we visited. They helped keep me centered and focused, grateful and awed as we traversed country boasting centuries of Christian faithfulness.

Required form?

Do you have to pray this way?

No.

The only “set” way Jesus gave as an example for prayer is in the prayer He taught the disciples to pray. But the Lord’s Prayer gives a template that sets the form for praying with the beads.

He wanted us to acknowledge God, who He is and His position in the Universe, and His position with us, His children.
He wanted us to recognize that it is God’s will that should drive our lives and decisions.
He wanted us to recognize the source of our daily physical sustenance and spiritual infusion, and seek it daily.
He wanted us to ask forgiveness for our trespasses, in accordance to the way we forgive others’ theirs.
And then he tells us evil exists and we need protection from it.

Using the prayer bead format to prepare your heart for Thanksgiving—

I think most, if not all of us, want to demonstrate grateful hearts on Thanksgiving Day, the ONE day a year set aside for it. Most of us are at least a little tuned into the meaning of the day rather than just on the feast and the shopping. (I do hope I’m right one that point!)

So how can we best prepare our hearts to give thanks? I’m talking about deeply felt thanks that moves your spirit to joy, and not just coming up with a quick list of things you’re grateful for.

Praying them, as the gratitude research indicates, is so life changing.

Don’t have prayer beads? No problem!

Even without your own prayer beads, you can do this. To get yourself focused and have something to follow, you may want to write down the order and take it into your “prayer room” with you.

Breathe deeply to normalize your breathing and settle your mind. When you’re engaged in purposeful, directed prayer, I find you’re far less likely to find your mind wandering. Always a bonus! And you’re also more open to the Spirit’s lead as He guides your thoughts in directions and to events and people you might not have had on your planned “prayer list.”

So well before the family and friends gather on Thursday, and you’re in crush-mode in the kitchen, I invite you to retreat to a quiet place—inside or out—with your prayer beads or prayer outline and be quieted, humbled, inspired and fulfilled!

In tune with your God.

More thankful in all ways and with all things and ready for your heart and soul to overflow with that thankfulness.

Let me know about your experience.

I will be praying that you have a joyful week, overflowing with gratefulness and Thanksgiving!

NEXT MONDAY we’ll head back to our regular gratitude posts.

Andrea

May you prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers (3 John 2).

Cultivating Gratefulness

Gratefulness is big business these days. Foundations have been formed to study and teach it. Brain potential single-day educational programs on gratefulness are making their way around the country. Oprah is focusing on it this month in her O, The Oprah Magazine. You can find presentations about it on TED talks. There’s even a website dedicated to nourishing and deepening your gratefulness.

The fact that we even have to teach people how to be grateful and how to exhibit gratefulness tells me something: gratefulness doesn’t come naturally to us. We have to think about it and work on it. Our hearts and minds really aren’t prone to it.

The problem?

So what’s the problem, aside from human beings generally being bent toward selfishness, self-preservation and self-promotion?

Are we too distracted by noise and sensory input from disquieting sources to appreciate the good things in our life?

Do we overlook the good things because we’ve become jaded to them and pay too much attention to the advertising that tells us what we have isn’t good enough and we need to keep striving for more, thus making anything we do have seem boring and unsatisfying?

Do we violate the 10^thCommandment of “Thou shall not covet” too much and become depressed at what we consider to be a lack?

Do we buy too many things that we think will give us fulfillment and everlasting enjoyment and discover too quickly that they do neither, so we continue our search for more?

Do we really know what would prompt us to satisfaction and gratefulness?

And once we focus on gratefulness, how do we keep it a habit?

Taking a closer look at gratefulness—

In the next six Mondays leading up to Thanksgiving Day that we celebrate here in the United States, we’ll focus on gratefulness. What drives it, why we seem to suffer a lack of it, and why we need it. We’ll look at scientific research on it and see what God and some of His most remarkable people—like King David—have to say about it, or how they display it.

And, hopefully, at the end of the six weeks, you’ll come away with a heart set more on a permanent attitude of gratefulness. An attitude that will evolve and blossom into a lifestyle!

Until then, be thinking about the things or people in your life you are truly grateful for and why. Better yet, get a journal and turn it into a thankfulness notebook. I think you’ll be surprised at the affect writing them down has on your heart and spirit.

See you next week!

Blessings,

Andrea

May you prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers (3 John 2).

Photo by Gabrielle Cole on unsplash.com