Gratefulness – Andrea Arthur Owan

What do Personality, Cognitive Traits and Gender Have to do with Gratitude?

Are some people just naturally grateful, or did their parents teach them to have gratitude? Does gender play any role in gratitude? What about personality, cognitive, or psychological traits?

It turns out that you can answer yes, yes, yes and yes! to all of these possibilities.

Let me show you why.

Determiners of your gratitude—

Psychologists are looking into what determines whether or not a person demonstrates gratefulness. They’ve wondered whether it is personality, cognitive or gender. First, we’ll explore their findings in personality factors.

Personality and gratitude—

Scientists have wondered if gratitude could be considered its own personality trait. Can it be added to the Big 5 traits Saucier and Goldberg categorized in 1998?

Agreeableness
Conscientiousness
Extraversion
Neuroticism
Openness

The findings are inconclusive. While it is clear some people are more grateful than others, the researchers still debate whether gratitude, or gratefulness, can actually be classified as a bona fide personality trait.

So then they turn to:

Cognitive factors—

This area is where the research yields more conclusive data. According to a Greater Good Science Center whitepaper on the subject:

“The ways that we think about a giver can increase or decrease the likelihood we will feel gratitude in a certain situation. In particular, studies have found that how participants see the intention of a benefactor, the cost to the benefactor, and the value of the benefit are all independently and significantly associated with the level of gratitude reported by these participants.”

In other words: the higher the perception of gift-giver benevolence—the genuineness behind the giving—the greater the recipient’s gratitude toward the giver, and with the gift.

Free will or predestination?

And interestingly enough, people who believe in free will (rather than pre-destined) or those who have been primed to feel more free will exists, believe a giver is more sincere in his actions.

This finding has been supported with neuroimaging studies of the brain area associated with reward. In a bullet point nutshell:

A benefactor’s intention or motivation influences a recipient’s gratitude experience!

In yet another interesting research result, though

“People had to believe they were responsible for their own success at something [like a test result] in order to feel gratitude for the help they received.”

Other results show—

Gratitude levels were affected by comparisons of a giver or gift to other favors or gifts given by others. Kind of like a gift comparison scale.

Unexpected favors and gifts resulted in higher gratitude levels.

Yet a recent study indicated that

“Gratitude was more related to the value of the benefit received rather than to the participant’s expectations of generosity from people more or less close to them.”

Evidently people are prone to comparing gifts, weighing the differences between them, and assessing the giver. It all starts getting more complex than imagined, but who among us hasn’t experienced some of these thoughts:

Thinking the gift giver was just trying to get on our good side or schmooze us.
Comparing—before you even had a chance to shut down the ungenerous, skeptical thought—a gift someone gives you to a gift the person gave someone else.
Not feeling particularly grateful for a gift because the gift didn’t hold much value for or to you, even though the giver thought his gift was stupendous and thoughtful.
Feeling overwhelmed with gratitude for a gift you know the giver thought carefully about and bought, even though you knew it was costly to them.

And then there’s the gender factor in gratefulness—

Studies point to children and adolescent girls being more grateful.

Adult women appear to be grateful than adult men. And women tend to be more grateful to God than men.

In 20009, researchers Kashdan, Mishra, Breen, and Froh found that

“Men were less likely to feel and express gratitude, made more critical evaluations of gratitude, and derived fewer benefits.”

Could it be that men associate gratitude with weakness? That’s a question researchers are still pondering.

Or could it be the culture in which the men are raised?

Research indicates that’s a possibility.

In experiments, men from Germany have been found to be significantly more grateful than American males. And the German men were also more likely to see gratitude as a positive.

Do American men see gratitude as a sign of weakness?

Individual barriers to gratitude—

“Yes” the research shows. Personality and individual factors do appear to play a role. There are certain personality traits that negatively affect gratitude. They include:

Materialism, and

Envy (coveting)

“High materialists are less happy in part because they find it harder to be grateful for what they have.”

Cynicism

Scripture has some things to say about a cynical attitude (it’s not positive), but something else to be considered here is the iGeneration—also known as Generation Z, Post-Millenials, Founders, Plurals or Homeland Generation—has some significant, disturving characteristics. They tend to be:

Very cynical and less trusting
Have the highest IQ of any other measured generation
Have the highest rates of suicide, which is one of the leading causes of death for teens and young adults

Do all of these factors—cynical nature, high intellect, and mental illness (and a sense of hopelessness)—prime these young people to have less gratitude toward life, gifts, people, nature? And God.

What are we older adults demonstrating for them and teaching them through our words, actions and way we live our lives? Through television programming and movies? The way we, ourselves, use and get addicted to technology and social sites that do little or nothing to improve our lives, or only make us feel more disconnected and lonely.

I think we have a serious problem that needs immediate attention.

Narcissism and gratitude—

Ever give a narcissist a gift? What kind of response did you get? Flat? Disinterest? Not much of an acknowledgement or thank you?

Researchers wonder if narcissists might not even notice a gift has been given to them. Why? Because they believe they’re entitled to the gift.

Sometimes it seems as though there are a lot of narcissists around these days too.

Are we raising and conditioning a generation and nation of narcissists because of all the “you deserve it” rhetoric the last 40 years? Madison Avenue marketers have made a bundle pitching us that line, and we become envious and frustrated and sometimes depressed when we can’t have it or don’t get it. We overspend to have it, sink ourselves into financial quagmires by buying into their advertising lines.

And politicians get in on the you-deserve-it game too. Pay careful attention to what they say and how they feed into narcissistic tendencies.

How are we allowing others to affect our gratitude?

The headwinds/tailwinds (barriers vs. benefits) factors—

Ever have something go really wrong in life? How do you compare it to the times when things were really going right?

Turns out that the headwinds (things are going badly) events get far more attention and weight in our lives and thinking than do the tailwinds (things are going great) events.

We tend to focus more on the barriers we face than on the benefits we enjoy.

Barriers versus benefits.

What do you focus most on?

Some of the funnier, and really revealing, examples researchers cited are:

“Democrats and Republicans believe the electoral map works against them.
“Football fans take more notice of the challenging games on their team’s schedule than on a rival team’s schedule.
“People more frequently recall episodes when they thought a sibling was treated better than when they themselves were treated better.”

And you?

How would you measure yourself on these scales and with these factors?

Do you have friends or family members that could be poster children for any of these factors?

Do these results cause you to pause and take stock of your own gratitude, and the gratitude you’ve received (or haven’t received) from others?

Does it deepen your understanding and appreciating of gratitude?

As we move toward Thanksgiving, when gratefulness is really on our mind, start thinking about how tailwinds and headwinds in life affect your thinking and gratitude. Could you turn your tailwinds around to view them in a more positive light?

How can you raise your gratitude quotient?

NEXT WEEK we’ll look at social and cultural factors linked to gratitude—like religion, culture and parenting?

Until then,

Keep priming the gratitude pump, in you and your family!

Blessings,

Andrea

May you prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers (3 John 2).

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on unsplash.com

The Social, Psychological, and Neural Effects of Gratitude

Roman statesman, orator and writer, Marcus Tullius Cicero, is credited with saying,

“Gratitude is not only the greatest of all virtues, but is the parent of all others.”

I think Cicero’s point was that gratitude is the source and motivator behind all other virtues. They are driven and fortified by gratitude.

And if that’s the case, then gratitude must be a good parent indeed. Why would I say that?

Because research is showing that gratitude has beneficial results.

Some of gratitude’s effects—

Grateful people are more satisfied with their lives.

Grateful people are happier.

Gratitude is the social glue that nurtures new friendship formation and enriches existing relationships.

Some scientists even believe gratitude supports and strengthens the very foundation of a successful society.

Scientific fields studying gratitude—

While the study and science of gratitude is a relatively new field, the following disciplines are beginning to seriously study it:

psychology
neuroscience
ecology
sociology
medicine

Defining gratitude—

As we noted last week, when you study something at the scientific level, you first need to have a working definition of the subject being studied.

Religions like Judaism, Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, and Hinduism all encourage gratitude, and it has been a popular subject in philosophy.

David Hume, a Scottish philosopher during the period of Enlightenment, considered ingratitude the worst crime a human could commit.

Some consider gratitude a prerequisite for a world or social citizen and contributor to be considered good or moral.

Robert Emmons and Michael McCullough narrowed gratitude down to two working definitions:

1) Gratitude is recognizing one has obtained a positive outcome; and

2) Gratitude is recognizing that there is an external source for this positive outcome.

The addition of the second definition is important because it includes the fact that people can direct their gratitude toward outside influences, like God, fate, nature, etc.

Exploring some of the research evidence—

There is evidence that gratitude can be thought of asn an emotional experience with three hierarchical levels of an:

Affective trait—defined by psychologist Erika Rosenberg as “stable predisposition toward certain types of emotional responding.”

Mood—a disposition that can fluctuate with moments and days

Emotion—a short-term reaction to a particular event

And in theory, the trait can affect a mood and then an emotion. The reverse can also be true, with an emotion affecting a mood and trait. And all three experiences can interact and play off of one another.

And gratefulness can increase your level of gratefulness. It tends to feed on itself and produce more.

But do a motive and self-focus check—

Interestingly enough, if a person does not think a benefactor is really being benevolent in heart with their actions (their motives are suspect), then the gratitude quotient of the receiver drops.

And more self-focused people tend toward feelings of indebtedness (obligation and repayment guilt) and decreased gratitude.

The striving-for-excellence factor—

Researchers Sara Algoe and Jonathan Haidt found evidence suggesting that:

“[gratitude] elevation (a response to moral excellence) motivates pro-social and affiliative behavior, gratitude motivates improved relationships with benefactors, and admiration motivates self-improvement” (2009).

So there you have the interplay of response, affiliating with others, improved relationships, and admiration’s effect on self-improvement. With that in mind, it makes sense that a special mentor who motivates you to moral excellence, pro-social and affiliating relationships and good behavior result in a closer relationship between you and the benefactor/mentor. And that admiration for your mentor motivates you to improve yourself.

The mentoring factor—

That finding reinforces just how important it is for young people and new employees to have mentors, encouragers that motivate them to strive for the best, and to demonstrate gratitude and moral excellence. To know they have someone who cares about them, sees their potential (which we are all born with), and helps us in a positive way to achieve it.

Gratitude and appreciation. Is there a difference?

Another study listed gratitude as one of eight facets of appreciation, which was defined as “acknowledging the value of meaning of something.” But there continues to be a debate among scientists as to whether or not there is a true scientific distinction between gratitude and appreciation.

Gratitude scales—

Scientists have formulated different gratitude scales.

GAC—Gratitude Adjective Checklist, which includes thinking of gratitude in terms of different adjectives you might apply to varying life events:

1) Grateful

2) Thankful

3) Appreciative

GRAT—Gratitude Resentment and Appreciation Test that measures:

1) Your lack of sense of deprivation (or, in reverse, your sense or perception of abundance)

2) Your appreciation for Simple pleasures

3) Your social appreciation

TGS—The Transpersonal Gratitude Scale that has a 16-item gratitude scale; and

Expression of Gratitude in Relationships Measurement

Gratitude and the Brain—

Scientists have used MRIs to measure brain activity and specific types of brain matter. Their findings “suggest that gratitude involving assessing the moral intentions and actions of others is inherently social (or ‘other praising’), and likely provides a sense or feeling of reward too, especially in more grateful people.”

This finding indicates gratitude can be self-perpetuating.

Grateful people may also possess more neural hallmarks of altruism.

Behaviors like keeping a gratefulness journal or simply writing gratitude letters have long lasting, positive effects. Evidently practicing gratitude changes the brain in a way that orients people to feel more rewarded when the person they’re showing gratitude toward is benefiting.

And the great news?

The positive effects were still detected months after the journaling or writing!

Who knew that those thank you letters your mom made you write when you were a kid were good for you, not just the receiver!

Unfortunately, thank you letter writing seems to a rapidly diminishing art among the millennial and younger crowds, which may explain their tendency toward demonstrating more cynicism and ungratefulness.

And what about hormones?

Yet another study found that oxytocin—a hormone connected with social bonding—may also be involved in the production of grateful feelings.

Putting it all into practice—

Several months ago I bought myself a journal I wanted to dedicate solely to gratitude—writing down daily those things or events of the day that made me grateful.

Unfortunately, and fortunately, my first attempts resulted in my filling up so many lines in the journal and taking so much time that I abandoned the effort. But I’m starting it up again and trying to limit myself to three items or events per day. The top three, even though there may be so many more things I could add.

And Chris and I always make it a point of starting our evening prayers with gratitude for events of the day or the last several days, especially if it could be labeled a BIG thank you. As I write this post, it would be the blessing of getting to have brunch with my younger son who was down from Phoenix over the weekend; and for my older son finishing his first PhD thesis draft and turning it in last Saturday morning at 5:00 AM! Other events I could add to those two would be the wonderful weekend Chris and I enjoyed together, especially fixing my canoe and taking it 70 miles south to Lake Patagonia to paddle around, watching the blue herons, loons and ducks navigate the water and wetland area. Even laughing at a few stubborn cows that had infiltrated a campsite and appeared to have no intention of vacating it.

We also make a point of thanking one another for small and big things they have done to help us out or make our lives easier or more enjoyable. Things we appreciate the other person for.

Your turn—

Who could you call this week to thank for something they did for you, or to thank for what they have meant to you—as a mentor, provider, instructor or friend? Make a list and then give at least one person a call.

Or write that person a heartfelt thank you.

Do you have a parent you could thank?

One year Chris called his stepfather, with whom he never had the closest or best relationship, to thank him for teaching him manual skills like basic construction, car maintenance, removing and installing toilets, repairing household items and doing basic electrical wiring, installing hot water heaters and knowing vital handyman skills. His stepfather was overwhelmed and thrilled, to the point that for the first time in Chris’s 50-some years, he told Chris he loved him.

That one act has done much to repair and restore the relationship.

Spend some time thinking and praying about who you could thank, who you could surprise with a thank you note, call or special little gift that says you are thinking about them and they are special to you.

Be generous.

As the research shows, (and the Bible has told us for thousands of years), it is definitely in giving that you receive!

Improve your happiness quotient this week. Show gratitude!

See you back here next week as we look more at gratitude.

Blessings,

Andrea

May you prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers (3 John 2).

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The Science of Gratitude

I have a family member who seems to focus on all the negatives in her life. If she doesn’t have a “big fat problem” to deal with, there doesn’t seem to be anything to focus on, no life purpose. While we occasionally hear her voice words of gratitude, they’re few and far between, and they usually have to do with people being useful to her, rather than “no good to me.”

It’s exhausting emotionally, spiritually and physically, so our time spent with her is limited. She doesn’t see herself as a negative person, but that’s how the rest of the family defines her. Void of a lot of gratitude.

What’s behind being grateful?

Just why do some people seem more naturally grateful than others? Can it be learned through practice? Is there a genetic component to it? What are the best ways to encourage, practice, and develop it? Is it an emotion? Virtue? Behavior?

These are some of the many questions we’ll be exploring together on Meditation Mondays as we approach Thanksgiving here in the United States. We’ll be preparing our hearts for that day, and carrying thankfulness into 2019 with us. And, hopefully, throughout the remainder of our lives.

So let’s get started today with some basics.

Gratitude as a research topic—

Scientists are studying gratefulness, and they’re learning some fascinating things about it. But before they started gratefulness research—a relatively new area in psychology and neuroscience—they had to develop some working definitions. Robert Emmons—considered by some as the world’s leading scientific expert on gratitude—and Michael McCullough whittled gratitude down to 2 definitions, so it could be scientifically studied and quantified. Those definitions are:

“Recognizing one has obtained a positive outcome (from something), and;
Recognizing that there is an external source for the positive outcome.”

They understand that people can possess gratitude for something outside of themselves, something, or someone, like God, fate, nature, etc., as the benefactors.

Some scientists then go on to break gratitude down into 3 categories:

An “affective trait”—are you innately more prone to be grateful as part of your personality?
A mood—Does your overall gratitude level alter throughout the day?
An emotion—Where you experience a temporary spike in gratitude as a result of something positive or beneficial being given to you.

Gratitude and brain science—

Scientists have uncovered areas our brains that express or experience gratitude. And some studies claim to have located possible gratitude genes.

Are there biological roots of gratitude? Why do some people seem naturally inclined to experience and express it? Are their ways you can foster “feelings and expressions of gratitude?”

Some researchers look at gratitude on an evolution spectrum: gratitude and helping one another out strengthens community bonds.

“Feeling” gratitude—

I think most people would say they “feel happy” when they experience gratitude, as though happiness and gratitude go hand-in-glove with one another. But evidently we experience gratitude in different ways and depending upon what kind of personality we have, what our cognitive function or awareness is, and what gender we are. Yes, females and males differ on the gratitude spectrum!

Other ingredients need to be considered too. Like:

Where were you born and where did you grow up; and who were your parents?
Social and cultural mores you grew up or live in.
The religion you learned or follow.
The kind of parenting styles you exposed to.

Benefits—

Scientists have uncovered a multitude of benefits for the grateful.

Grateful people demonstrate greater happiness and life satisfaction.
Grateful people experience less materialism.
Grateful people enjoy both physical and psychological benefits.
Grateful people exhibit a greater resiliency to traumatic events.
Gratefulness may promote the development of other traits we consider virtues, like: patience, humility and wisdom. (Although I would argue that no matter how grateful you are, you cannot enjoy real wisdom without first acknowledging God. More on that in a later post.)

And gratitude appears to inspire people to generosity, kindness and helpfulness. It shores up relationships and may improve work environments by promoting positive attitudes and behavior.

In the following weeks, we’ll dig deeper into all of these and discover how to be grateful people, or more grateful than we already are. To pass it on and encourage and promote the behavior in others.

Until then, I’d encourage you to watch the following 4-minute YouTube video in which University of California—Davis professor, Robert Emmons, reveals 4 encouraging benefits in his presentation: “What Good is Gratitude?”

For more information on gratitude, go to the University of California—Berkeley’s: Greater Good: The Science of a Meaningful Life. They have a wonderful online magazine called Great Good Magazine: Science-Based Insights for a Meaningful Life.

Blessings,

Andrea

May you prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers (3 John 2).

Cultivating Gratefulness

Gratefulness is big business these days. Foundations have been formed to study and teach it. Brain potential single-day educational programs on gratefulness are making their way around the country. Oprah is focusing on it this month in her O, The Oprah Magazine. You can find presentations about it on TED talks. There’s even a website dedicated to nourishing and deepening your gratefulness.

The fact that we even have to teach people how to be grateful and how to exhibit gratefulness tells me something: gratefulness doesn’t come naturally to us. We have to think about it and work on it. Our hearts and minds really aren’t prone to it.

The problem?

So what’s the problem, aside from human beings generally being bent toward selfishness, self-preservation and self-promotion?

Are we too distracted by noise and sensory input from disquieting sources to appreciate the good things in our life?

Do we overlook the good things because we’ve become jaded to them and pay too much attention to the advertising that tells us what we have isn’t good enough and we need to keep striving for more, thus making anything we do have seem boring and unsatisfying?

Do we violate the 10^thCommandment of “Thou shall not covet” too much and become depressed at what we consider to be a lack?

Do we buy too many things that we think will give us fulfillment and everlasting enjoyment and discover too quickly that they do neither, so we continue our search for more?

Do we really know what would prompt us to satisfaction and gratefulness?

And once we focus on gratefulness, how do we keep it a habit?

Taking a closer look at gratefulness—

In the next six Mondays leading up to Thanksgiving Day that we celebrate here in the United States, we’ll focus on gratefulness. What drives it, why we seem to suffer a lack of it, and why we need it. We’ll look at scientific research on it and see what God and some of His most remarkable people—like King David—have to say about it, or how they display it.

And, hopefully, at the end of the six weeks, you’ll come away with a heart set more on a permanent attitude of gratefulness. An attitude that will evolve and blossom into a lifestyle!

Until then, be thinking about the things or people in your life you are truly grateful for and why. Better yet, get a journal and turn it into a thankfulness notebook. I think you’ll be surprised at the affect writing them down has on your heart and spirit.

See you next week!

Blessings,

Andrea

May you prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers (3 John 2).

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