Most of the stories the group members relayed were full of anguish and turmoil. Pain heaped upon pain. And as I listened to them tell their stories, a couple of thoughts crossed my mind.
It was clear that some had told their stories before. Many times. And a few of them seemed to enjoy telling their stories. I wasn’t sure if they went on and on because they were nervous, or they wanted or needed to be heard, or they had gotten so accustomed to the attention they received when telling the story that they craved it, had become addicted to it.
Certainly, being Christians, they expressed joy in the Lord, and gratefulness for His salvation. But the peace He promises seemed to be missing.
And then there was the shame. The deep, profound feeling of shame they projected over their weaknesses, failures and hurts they’d caused others. Some had confessed their sins and turned from their evil ways decades ago, and yet they still wept over their behavior.
They seemed to focus more on their shame and sins than they did on the dismantling and destruction of their chains. Their cleansing.
They still struggled with feelings of unworthiness.
While they possessed the head knowledge of their new lives in Christ, they clung to the pain and sins of their old lives. They identified them.
They didn’t focus on being a new creature.
They forgot that when God forgives sins, He will remember them no more. As far as the east is from the west is the distance God has removed our transgressions from us.
They didn’t seem to want to let go.
They weren’t going through the process of renewing their minds.
And they were beating themselves up about it.
In short, it comes down to what Dr. David Jeremiah told a young lady who just couldn’t get from the God-forgiving-her-stage, to forgiving herself,
“So your standards are higher and better than God’s?”
Wow! That’s looking at through a different lens, isn’t it? And He’s right. When you stop and think about it, it’s ludicrous what we project onto our loving, tender, long-suffering and forgiving God.
Does all of that sound too familiar?
Can you picture this scenario?
Jesus tells you: “Your sin is forgiven, but I’m going to be banging you in the head over it for the rest of your life. Just so you don’t forget how awful you are and awful your sin was, and how much you owe me for My sacrifice and salvation.”
Can you imagine Him doing that to you?
Well, he doesn’t and He wouldn’t.
So why do we act as thought He does?
It’s becoming more painfully clear to me that so much of our mental, emotional, spiritual and sometimes physical anguish is self-inflicted. And it shouldn’t be that way. In fact, I think it grieves our Saviors heart to watch how we punish ourselves, and others who have also asked for and received forgiveness for their confessed sins.
How about you?
- Are you stuck in the self-infliction pattern?
- Have you set higher standards than God has for you?
- Are you continuing to beat yourself up over some failure you confessed and know you’ve received forgiveness for?
- Is your behavior threatening your mental, emotional, spiritual and physical health?
- If so, what will you do to change your attitude and behavior this year?
- Do you need to confess to Him that you’ve been punishing yourself and seek forgiveness for self-harm?
- Do you know anyone who needs encouragement and maybe some enlightenment and correction in this area?
My prayer is that we can all take the Savior at His word, rest in His peace and joy, walk through life with a light step, and reject the self-incrimination that can bind our hearts, minds, emotions and actions.
Let’s make sure we allow God to set the standards for our lives!
Blessings,
Andrea
“Certainly there was an Eden….We all long for it, and we are constantly glimpsing it.” —J.R.R. Tolkien
BLOG SCHEDULE NOTE: As 2019 has dawned, it became clear that, in order to complete my memoir manuscript this year and prepare it for publication, and complete all of the writing set before me, that I would have to reduce my blog posting schedule.
To accomplish that, Free-for-All Fridays will be reduced to once-a-month posts, which will be published on the first Friday of each month.
So I’ll see you back here the first Friday of February, which happens to be the 1st!
Until then, walk lightly, and be forgiving—of yourself and others.